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Up to Me Page 8
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CHAPTER THIRTEEN- Olivia
Strange huge men keep disappearing into Cash’s office, so when the bar closes, I’m a little nervous about going back there. But I go. I don’t really have much of a choice. I’m in way over my head.
As I reach beneath the bar and grab my purse, I hear the door to the office open. A sliver of light pours out onto the floor and I hear voices. Low, deep voices. My stomach curls into a tight knot.
The door opens further and Cash’s big body blocks most of the light. His eyes lock onto mine immediately. “Are you done?”
I nod.
He turns back and speaks to someone behind him then emerges to walk across the room and lock the front doors. I watch him, afraid to move. Without my work and all the customers in the bar, the tension is sliceable.
How did I get myself into this mess?
Before I can formulate some kind of answer, Cash is walking toward me, his face hard and intense. “Let’s go back to my office. There are some things I need to tell you.”
My pulse picks up and dread runs through my veins like ice water. Cash meets me at the cut-out at the end of the bar. When I step out in front of him, he puts his hand at the small of my back and guides me to his office. I can feel the warmth of his palm through my shirt and it comforts me.
I ease through the door to find Gavin in Cash’s chair behind the desk and the tall stranger with the pony tail sitting in the chair across from him, his back to me. Gavin looks up and smiles.
“There she is.”
I smile in return, although I’m sure it’s tight. My face feels like it might crack from the tension. In just a few short hours, Cash will be going to get Marissa. Who knows what will happen then?
Acid sloshes in my belly and saliva pours into my mouth. I close my eyes and take a slow, deep breath.
When I open them, the stranger is standing to his feet. He turns toward me, leaning back against the desk and crossing his arms over his wide chest. He’s taken his glasses off. And it makes all the difference in the world.
My heart skips a beat as I look into the familiar black-brown of Cash’s eyes. Only they’re not on Cash. Not exactly.
Cash steps around in front of me to stand beside the stranger. As I look from one to the other, I don’t need to ask who the stranger is, but I do need someone to explain to me how he’s here, how he’s standing in front of me when he’s supposed to be dead.
Sweet hell! This is even worse than I thought!
“Nash,” I say quietly, trying to sound calm when I feel anything but.
He smiles, a gesture that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Very good.” He looks to Cash. “At least this one has a brain.”
I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean, but I can’t worry about it right now. I just want to find out what’s going on, what’s expected of me and how we can all get safely out of this crazy and surprisingly dangerous dilemma. Everything else will just have to wait.
“You look pretty good for a dead guy.”
“My brother’s done a great job of keeping me alive, don’t you think?”
There’s no mistaking the bitterness in his tone.
“I suppose so. You don’t seem too happy about that.”
“Why would I be happy that someone is pretending to be me?”
Temper flashes in his eyes. It gives me pause, but only a little bit. For some reason, with Cash close, I’m not afraid of him. I might be otherwise, but right now, I feel brave.
“Why would you not be? You got off easy. You have a law degree that you didn’t have to study for, a job you didn’t have to work for and a life you didn’t have to earn. Sounds like Cash has done the hard part.”
I glance at Cash. He’s watching me. He smiles. It’s wide and pleased. Smug almost. He winks one twinkling eye at me and I feel the heat rush to my face. He must be happy that I’m taking up for him.
Nash straightens and takes one step forward. My first inclination is to back up, even though he’s not that close to me. But I don’t. I hold my ground. “That might be true, especially if you don’t have a damn clue about what my life was like. Like if you didn’t know that I had to give up my entire identity and go to work for criminals on a smuggling boat. Or if you didn’t know that I could only come to shore once every few months. Or if you didn’t know that I had to sneak into town wearing a disguise, only to see my brother living a great life. My life. Yeah, I can see where you’d think I’d be grateful.”
Guilt washes through me. I don’t know what to say. I look to Cash who is watching Nash, his face set in hard lines. I glance at Gavin who seems bored with the whole conversation. Then I glance back to Nash who suddenly looks broken and bereaved behind his stony mask.
“I’m so sorry,” I confess sincerely. “I- I didn’t know. I just assumed…”
Nash’s laugh is a short snap. “Yeah, well you know what they say about assuming.”
He steps back to resume his position against the desk. I don’t take any offense at his words. He has every right to them. Both he and Cash have gotten the shaft and I feel incredibly sorry for both of them, for what they’ve suffered and what they’ve lost, for what they’ve had to go through for a man who made all the wrong decisions.
“Maybe after this, you won’t have to hide anymore,” I say softly.
Nash stares into my eyes. I can see that he wants to believe that’s true and my heart squeezes painfully. “Maybe. Maybe one day I can have the freedom, the job, the life. The girl.”
I don’t know if he means me per se, but his look is so intense, it makes me blush anyway.
Holy wow! He’s so much like his brother.
Cash moves to stand at my side. When he speaks, his voice is strained. “If we do this right, maybe we can both have our lives back. And you can find your own job and life and girl.”
Cash slides an arm around my waist. I want to smile at the possessive gesture. Men and their silly posturing!
Obviously, the conversation needs a new direction. The tension is killing me!
“So, have you figured out what to do about tomorrow?”
I hear Cash sigh.
Uh oh.
“I think so.”
He moves away from me to pace to the apartment door and back, his head bent in thought.
“Well?”
“Nash has some…information that we can use as leverage after handing over the books for Marissa.”
“What kind of information?”
There’s a pause, during which it feels like everyone in the room is debating the wisdom of answering me. I disabuse them of that notion right away. “If you’re thinking of keeping me in the dark when I’m one of the ones in their crosshairs, you really need to think again. You need my cooperation, right? I mean, I could go right to the cops and that would change everything, right?”
I hate to make such a threat. I think Cash knows I’m just bluffing, but the others don’t. There’s no way they could.
It’s Gavin who speaks up first. “Just tell her, mate. You’re the one who says she can be trusted.”
I won’t lie. It makes me very happy that Cash has told them as much. It also makes me feel guilty for the misgivings I’ve had the last couple of days.
“The afternoon of the accident, Nash was coming back from the store with supplies for the trip. He stopped on the dock of the marina to video a couple of girls lying on top of a yacht, sunbathing topless. He accidentally caught the trigger man on tape.”
“Trigger man?”
“Yeah, the guy that detonated the bomb.”
I gasp. “Oh shit!”
“Exactly. They’d have killed all of us if they’d known Nash had it. I think Dad was right to hold off for a while. Something like that is very dangerous.”
“So you’re going to hand over the books and then what? Use the video to…”
“Keep us all alive.”
“But how? It’ll be just like the books all over again, only they’ll know who has it, who to go aft
er.”
I feel sick. I can only imagine the kinds of torture they’d employ upon loved ones to get their hands on evidence as damning as a video.
“Not exactly. There’s something else at play. Dad had me send two messages. Nash was one. We haven’t heard from the other one yet. Nash thinks that the video used in conjunction with this other…player might be enough to get us out of this forever.”
“Forever? How exactly?”
“By eliminating the threat.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? That sounds like you plan to kill somebody.”
“No. Not us.”
I look between the faces of the three guys. They’re all very serious.
“Surely you’re joking.”
Not one of them even flinches.
“You can’t really be considering this.”
Still nothing.
My head spins. It’s just like the movies. But it’s so much worse in real life. For a few seconds, it seems surreal. I can’t wrap my mind around being involved in something like this. I mean, this is…this is…
Cash moves in front of me and bends until his face is inches from mine. “Olivia, these are bad men. And I don’t mean they’ve robbed a liquor store. These men are killers. Murderers. And they won’t stop if they think for one second that any of us poses a threat. Or could get them something they want. This is real. And it’s serious.”
I search his eyes. I guess, considering the conversation, I’m looking for a monster. But I don’t find one. I see only the guy I’ve been steadily falling in love with. I wonder if it’s too late to turn back now.
“What are you asking of me?”
His eyes never leaving mine, Cash straightens. “Give us a minute, guys” he says to Gavin and Nash. Quietly, they make their way from the room. Cash takes my hand and leads me through the door at the back of the office, into the kitchen of the apartment area in behind. When he releases my hand, I lean against the cabinets to keep from falling over. My heart is pounding so loudly I wonder if Cash can hear it.
Cash’s back is to me. I see him run his fingers through his hair and I hear him sigh again. “I’m asking you to trust me, Olivia.” He turns to face me. “Trust in what you know about me. Because I know, if you stop listening to your fear, you know who I am. Deep down. You know me, Olivia. You know me.”
His voice is sincere. His expression is urgent. I close my eyes against his face, his handsome face, the face that haunts both my waking and my sleeping world. I open them again when I feel warm hands cup my cheeks. Cash is a breath away, his eyes oceans of midnight, drawing me out into the deep.
“It’s me,” he says softly. “Stop listening to everything else. Remember the way you feel when I’m kissing you and touching you. Don’t think with your head. You know me. And when my lips are on yours, you trust me.” As if to make his point, he dips his head and brushes his mouth over mine. Sparks fly between us. As always. “You trust me, when my hands are on your skin.” He runs his palms down my arms and then over to my waist where he pushes them up under the edge of my shirt. Chills break out down my back. “You trust me when you turn your mind off, when you just feel.”
His hands move further up, skating over my ribs to cup my breasts. His thumbs brush my nipples then he squeezes them through the thin material of my bra. I catch my breath.
“See? You aren’t thinking. You’re just feeling. You’re feeling me. Right now you trust me. You know I’d do anything for you, that I’d never hurt you. You know you’re not like the others. I know you know that. And that you want me. Just like I want you.”
He’s right. He’s right about all of it. And I do want him. I always have. In a way it makes no sense, that I’d want him right now considering what might be happening in the next few hours. But in a way, it makes perfect sense. If things go wrong, this might be the last time I see Cash, or get to be with him this way.
That thought brings with it both panic and abandon. I swallow the words that want to rush out, words about love and devotion, words that have no place in this moment. They deserve to be spoken when there’s no pressure and no distress. And that’s not now.
But we still have tonight. So I’ll show him. I’ll give him everything else I have.
“Tell me you want me,” he commands softly, his voice a low growl.
I don’t hesitate. Reaching up, I drag my fingertip along his perfect lower lip. “I want you.”
“Tell me you trust me.”
“I trust you.”
He exhales, his warm breath fanning my face. “Now tell me you want me to touch you.”
His hands are still, unmoving over my bra. But I don’t want them to be still. More than anything, I want for them to move. “I want you to touch me.”
His eyes are pure heat, searing mine. He watches me as he pulls the cups of my bra down. His palms are rough as they glide over my nipples making them pucker. He pinches them between his fingers and lava pours into my core. I bite back a moan.
“Tell me you want me to lick your nipples, to suck them into my mouth.” His voice is like black velvet. It slides over my skin like a tangible thing.
“I want you to lick my nipples.” I’m already breathless as he pulls my tank over my head. His eyes are back on mine as he reaches behind me to unhook my bra.
“Finish,” he demands, refusing to give me what I want until I spell it out.
“I want you to suck them into your mouth.”
Bending his head, Cash flicks one nipple with his tongue then draws it into his hot mouth. I thread my fingers through his hair, holding him to me.
He sucks on one, biting it lightly, before he moves to the other to give it the same treatment. When he lifts his head, there’s fire in his eyes.
“Tell me to unzip your pants.”
Even though I can barely speak, I don’t hesitate. “Unzip my pants.”
In one quick movement, he flips open the button and unzips my pants.
“Tell me you want me to put my fingers inside you.”
His voice is hoarse and his hand is resting just a few inches of where I want it most. The anticipation of feeling him is almost too much to bear.
“I want you to put your fingers inside me.”
Turning his palm toward my body, he slides his hand into my panties and pushes two long fingers inside me. My knees go weak and I reach behind me to hold onto the counter top for support.
Cash closes his eyes and moans a little. “Oh my God, you’re so wet. Do you know what that does to me?”
I nod. “Yes.” I know because I feel it, too.
“Tell me you want me to taste you.”
Slowly, he drags his finger in and out of me. My hips move with him.
“Taste me.”
Pulling his hand free from me, he raises his glistening finger and slips it into his mouth. I’m mesmerized.
“That’s the best taste in the world,” he says. “Tell me you want a taste, too. I want to watch you lick my finger.”
More heat rushes between my legs. “I want a taste, too,” I breathe obediently.
Cash bends and, with one quick jerk, pulls my pants down to my ankles. As he rises, he pauses to press his lips to the outside of my panties, kissing me. I want to beg him to stop there, but before I can speak, he’s taking my breath away with his wicked fingers.
Pushing my panties to the side, Cash thrusts two fingers inside me, burying them deep and bringing me up onto my toes. He crooks them within me as he massages my clitoris with his thumb. He looks up and his eyes find mine again.
Slowly, he straightens and brings one finger to my lips. His eyes drop to my mouth as I open it. He drags his wet fingertip over my bottom lip then looks back up at me. “Lick.” I lick my bottom lip, tasting the salty sweetness there. “So good,” he whispers before he slides his finger into my mouth, rubbing it over my tongue. I close my lips around it and suck until I hear the air hiss through his gritted teeth.
“Tell me you want me inside you.”r />
“I want you. Inside me. Right now,” I pant desperately.
I can’t take my eyes off his. Even as I hear the sound of his zipper, our gaze is locked together. I reach down to push my panties over my hips just before Cash grabs me under the arms and puts me up on the counter. The granite is cool against my butt, making me long for the heat of his body.
Still watching me, always watching me, Cash pulls one shoe off my foot then eases my pants and panties down over it, freeing one leg.
“Spread your legs for me.”
I do as he asks.
His eyes on my moist, sensitive flesh make me feel even hotter, even wetter. Cash wraps his fingers around his shaft, stroking it slowly from base to tip, making my muscles clench in anticipation of him filling me. “Now tell me what you want.”
“I want you inside me.”
“What do you want me to do there?”
“I want you to come in me, to come with me.”
I hear his moan just before he lets his desire off the leash. It seems that one moment, he’s inches away, the next, he’s touching me. All over, everywhere at once.
His hands are in my hair, at my breasts, on my back. His lips are on mine, at my ear, on my neck. His tongue is teasing mine, teasing my nipples, teasing my navel.
Then his hands are sliding under my hips. The world tilts when he picks me up off the counter. Just as my legs wrap around his waist, he enters me, pulling me down onto him, seating himself so far inside me that it steals my breath.
As my head falls back on my shoulders, I cry out. I can’t help it. I’m lost to everything but Cash. I barely hear my own voice. It’s like a soft echo of what’s going on between us—a tornado of sensation and heavy breathing, a hurricane of lips and tongues and teeth and fingers.
I hear Cash’s breath in my ear. I feel his body inside mine. I feel the air rushing over my skin as he carries me to the bed.
Then there’s a firm mattress at my back and a warm body on top of mine. He’s moving inside me, hard and powerful, each thrust deeper than the last.